Since starting my second year of college, turning nineteen, and moving into my apartment, I have learned that I, Eliz, may or may not have been ready to “adult”. I wrote “adult” in parentheses because I do not truly feel like an adult, since I still feel like a child (until I am reminded by my empty kitchen that I need to get up, be a big girl, put some pants on, and buy my own damn groceries), hence the reason why I do not deserve to say adult without the parentheses.
But if you were worried about why I haven’t touched my blog in weeks, I can assure you that my lack of “adulting” skills is not the reason for my short internet death.
Note: I have yet to light anything in my apartment on fire (Not trying to brag or anything, but I am a ramen and grilled cheese pro) or starve myself to death, which are two big accomplishments for someone who typically burns everything in sight and has no cooking skills whatsoever.
My brief internet death was caused by my busy schedule (16 units & a part-time job, which doesn’t sound like much, but I am a girl who thoroughly enjoys napping), and my realization that to grow as a writer (notice I said writer here and not just blogger), I need to step away from my laptop and open myself up to being more adventurous and spontaneous, so I actually have something to write about.
However, I soon realized that I needed to come back to my blog. I’ve been so busy with practicing news writing (since I am taking a reporting class), that I’ve forgotten what it feels like to write articles or posts that actually pertain to my interests. I also got lectured, at a party of all places, about how I cannot neglect my blog because despite other’s views of blogging, owning a personal blog is actually pretty cool and should be embraced. So now here I am, sitting in the library on a Sunday night, making strange faces at my computer screen (one of my weird writing quirks), and regaining my love for blogging.
So here are some random things, in no particular order and without any form of correlation to each other, that I felt like writing about.
- I am a basic Iced Chai Tea Latte drinking and Taylor Swift listening type of gal and I am no longer ashamed.
Oh my god, I really can’t front about this anymore. Taylor’s Reputation album is SO good and that girl is an absolute QUEEN at songwriting.
I’ve always been obsessed with Taylor Swift, but I tried to keep it low-key. Everyone trashes her for her “excessive” amount of ex-boyfriends and “naive” views of love. But, I believe her songs really show who she is as a person and isn’t that the goal of writing? To reflect who we are, our thoughts, and our daydreams? She puts my feelings and moods into catchy verses and melodies and for that, I love her.
I tried to avoid this album because I wasn’t really buying this “new” Taylor era, but songs on Reputation like Delicate, Gorgeous, New Year’s Eve, King of My Heart, and Call It What You Want, all show that she is the same wide-eyed-hopelessly-in-love Taylor, just a little bit more grown up.
I will say though, Look at What You Made Me Do is still trash and I like to pretend that song never happened. But everything else she’s written is pure magic.
So just a heads up, if you catch me on campus walking with headphones on, I’m probably listening to Taylor Swift and shamelessly drinking my go-to grande iced chai tea latte with soy milk.
- I have discovered that I have a love-hate relationship with grocery shopping.
Target has always been my favorite place on the planet. I mean, who can actually walk into Target and get only one thing? (Ok but if you are the type of person who possesses that power, please tell me your secret! My DMs are open.) When I was living in the dorms, grocery shopping wasn’t a problem. I’d go to Target every few weeks for things like snacks or tissues, and didn’t need to worry about buying essentials like bread or toilet paper. I am now aware that grocery shopping is fun, until you are standing at the register wondering how you ended up spending $40 and holding a basket filled with fuzzy socks, even though your grocery list literally just consisted of grapes and havarti cheese.
- Wow! A blogger who goes out past midnight, is actually diagnosed with stress, and looks like a zombie in the morning? Do they really exist?
Over summer, I decided to be more involved with the blogging community. I joined a collective, where I got to meet and interact with other lifestyle, fashion, beauty, etc. bloggers and share content with each other. For a while, I really enjoyed being a member and felt like I was in some exclusive club, filled with well-dressed social media personalities who owned apartments that looked like Pinterest boards and wore outfits straight from J-Crew catalogues. After watching all of their snapchats, tweets, and Instagram stories, I had a sudden realization that a blogger stereotype was highly present and I didn’t fit it. At all.
These bloggers preach about going to sleep at 10 PM every night and waking up at 6 AM to make chia seed toast and berry smoothie bowls. They drink wine on Wednesdays, take day trips to Montreal, and have an Instagram husband to follow them around and take professional candid outfit photos.
I am the complete opposite. All of my outfit “candids” are taken by my friends, who use their Iphone to take bursts, and are then edited on VSCOcam. Most nights, I don’t go to sleep until 1 AM because I stay up writing Reporting papers, lab reports, studying for math exams, etc. I do not wake up in the morning feeling refreshed at 6 AM. At 6 AM, I look like a zombie and only on good days, do I actually put makeup on and make myself breakfast (on my bad days, I end up at Starbucks. Do real bloggers drink Starbucks? Or do they only drink artisan coffee from their local, hipster owned coffee shop?)
I eventually removed myself from all the group chats and left the collective, despite being accepted in the first place when they saw “potential in me”.
But, I now know that my inability to fit in with them is what makes my blog special. So what if my life isn’t perfectly polished like those other bloggers? It doesn’t make my blog any less genuine or worth reading. I started my blog in high school, that’s impressive on its own! I also write my own content (no ghostwriters here! *cough* *cough*), actually study communication, and I’m not afraid to admit that I am not an expert in the world. I’m far from it. I’m young, still learning about everything, and do not fit the blogger stereotype (and probably never will).
- I love being alone.
I didn’t realize I love being alone until I got to college. Of course, I enjoy being with my friends and having movie nights in the apartment or going to parties on Friday nights, but there’s a refreshing feeling that comes with being alone. I appreciate the nights where I stay in doing yoga, reading, and drinking tea as much as the nights spent out until 3 a.m. dancing.
- I got bangs and I actually like them???
My roommate spontaneously cut them for me an hour before my shift at work started, using standard paper scissors, which I normally would never agree to, since I take my hair very seriously. I believe that changing your hair represents the subconscious need for change in one’s life. I also like to categorize chapters of my life based on my hair, as if my hairstyle represents different versions of myself. I always say things like “That happened when I had short hair!” or “Blonde hair Eliz would’ve totally done that!”, and for some strange reason, the universe told me I needed bangs.
But I really hope this version of me, the Eliz with the wavy hair and choppy bangs, is filled with creativity and spontaneity and has many, many stories to write and tell.
P.S. I will blog more. I promise.
P.S.S Happy Thanksgiving! I am so thankful for anyone who reads the words I write. Lots of love. 🙂