Let’s get real for a moment.
I know, I haven’t published anything in over a month.
It’s not that I have “forgotten” about my blog (how the heck would I forget that I run a website?) or that I’ve run out of blog post ideas (I literally have a billion ideas and a bunch of finished drafts), it’s just that I’ve been a bit hesitant.
Lately, I’ve been feeling extremely uninspired about publishing fashion posts and anxious about writing anything lifestyle related. I cannot bring myself to write tips about how to have the “perfect” lazy morning or a roundup of my favorite spring trends. It’s just not something I feel confident enough to write about right now.
Don’t get me wrong, I love writing about fashion and lifestyle! I want to make a career out of it eventually! But I’m in this stage in my life where it doesn’t seem like authentic content, coming from me.
This past month, I’ve been stressed out with school (It’s already finals week!) and just managing myself and whatever social life I have right now. Every time I’ve opened my laptop to blog, the work I’ve created doesn’t seem to fit me. And the last thing I want to be is a liar.
This blog makes my life look perfect, with all of it’s pink decor and cute photos. My Instagram account is filled with pictures of “aesthetically pleasing” food and selfies where I spent hours getting ready. Neither of them show me actually having any emotions other than being perfectly happy and put-together.
But I’m not put-together. I’m not happy all the time and I definitely do not know what the heck I’m doing. I’m not comfortable or completely confident right now. I’m living in a city 400 miles away from home and everything/everyone I’m used to. I’m trying to do my best in a place that feels so competitive and draining. I’m being exposed to new experiences and new people, and it’s all so overwhelming.
But it’s a part of growing up. I’m eighteen, these feelings and thoughts are normal and totally okay.
Which is why I’m writing this letter. At first I felt like I needed to apologize for my lack of content, but that would’ve made it seem like my struggles were a bad thing, rather than something normal or something to grow from.
I may not feel motivated to write about my fashion style right now (because quite frankly, I’m unsure what my current style even is), but I have been feeling very inspired by my creative writing. I’ve been feeling more content after writing poems, short stories, narratives, and open letters.
So, Im going to continue blogging; I’m not stopping anytime soon. But it may be a little different from here on. I might write a post about my monthly favorites and then the next week publish a creative writing piece. I might share some of the poetry I’ve written or I might voice my thoughts about issues that matters to me.
This is my website; I am growing and I want it to grow with me.
P.S. Lorde’s new single “Green Light” inspired this post…